Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i think i just lost a toe
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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