No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
