Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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