Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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