just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
