i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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