your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
