Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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