his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize