It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
