I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize