wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
