how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
