I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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