Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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