I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
