i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
What drink are we having for lunch?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
