I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize