Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
