So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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