I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish you could order shots online.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
