And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
