I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
