She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
