We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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