p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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