WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
