I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
