never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
