Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize