hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize