I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
