I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize