he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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