Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
