come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
