I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
