Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
