just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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