i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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