I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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