Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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