Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dick very happy bro
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
