Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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