if you like me you must not know who I am
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
