Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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