i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
