I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
