I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I had to cum in my sink.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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