Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize