Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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