I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
