i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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