Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
