it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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