you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
