I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
